I was envisioning this slice in real time. As this moment occurred, it was as if I was sitting at my computer typing as I watched what was unfolding…
My six month postpartum visit. I brought Rosie. I wasn’t planning on it. She was supposed to stay with my mom. A last minute change of plans. I didn’t wear the right clothes for nursing. I hadn’t timed the adventure for when Rosie would be snoozing. What choice did I have? This appointment had already been rescheduled three times. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
The action began in the waiting room when simply rocking the carseat did not suffice. Out came the baby…rocking, shushing, bouncing. Not terrible. I figured I’d have plenty of time to settle her down. This office was always really behind schedule…but of course, not on this particular day.
As the nurse carried my bag and the carseat, I continued bouncing Rosie. “Have you left a urine sample yet? she asked as I tried to hold it together. I lugged the baby and the carseat into the restroom. The first time I had to do this since being pregnant. At least my belly wasn’t in the way. (Always looking for the bright side!)
Back in the exam room, the nurse told me to have a seat on the table. “I only have a few questions…Where did I deliver my baby? Who delivered? Were there any complications?” Didn’t they already know all of this? Even Rosie was annoyed. She fussed. Did I forget to mention that she was also due for a poop? I could tell she was working on it. Batting her arms and legs. Grunting. This one was going to take all she had.
I stepped down from the table to grab the baby. Please just hold the poop for when this is over. I silently pleaded.
Back on the table to have my blood pressure taken, while holding the baby. That’s when she decided to let loose, loud and proud. The nurse quickly finished up as she patted the paper gown and sheet. “Just slip this on when you get a chance,” she instructed.
I quickly turned the baby over to ensure that the poop hasn’t already seeped up her back. It hadn’t, so I decided to change her first…before things got messy. She was still fussing when I plopped her back in the carseat to get undressed.
As I unfolded the paper garments, in between rocking the carseat, I wondered what I was doing wrong. Where is the rest of the gown? I couldn’t get it to unfold and I didn’t want to rip the only shield I had -between the world and my post pregnant body.
I finally concluded that the doctor’s office was either following fashion trends or just low on funds, and had opted for the crop top option. Seriously? I reluctantly put on the only crop top I’ve ever worn, threw the paper sheet across my lap, and hopped back on the table-rocking the carseat with my foot.
Rosie was not having it. Back off the table to pop the pacifier in. Knock. Knock. In comes the doctor as I’m bending over the seat, in all my crop top glory.
All I could do was smile as I gripped my sheet and tried to adjust my top.
Oh the joys of motherhood.
Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for hosting the Slice of Life. I started the Slice of Life challenge in March of 2017. I was inspired by the community of writers that I found. So I have continued to “Slice” every Tuesday. You can find out more and read other Slices here.