I took my first trip around the sun without you
I looked for you everywhere
Your car parked outside my mom’s house
Pushing your shopping cart at Target
In your garden
I even looked in the trees, at every passing bird and flittering butterfly.
I took my first trip around the sun without you
I missed you every day
Missed calling you on my way home from work
Missed having a place to visit, when we just needed to get out of the house
Missed your stories…your voice
Missed sharing moments of joy and your comfort in times of sadness
Missed the way you loved us
I took my first trip around the sun without you
I felt you with me always
As I cracked open a jar of your tomato sauce
I pictured you wiping the edges clean as you sealed the jars shut
I knew I was spreading your love.
I felt you as the earth awoke from the winter
and the trees began to bud and the flowers began to bloom.
I felt you in the tomatoes as they suddenly started to turn red
and when the girls happily updated us on the status of their gardens.
I felt you in the warmth of the sun and the rain on my skin
and in every crocheted item you gifted us.
I felt you with us every time we gathered as a family,
hearing your voice, “just stay together.”
I took my first trip around the sun without you.
Beautiful composition, Jessica – your words pierce my heart. Every one lands in the exact right place; I know this feeling of loss so well. You remain in my thoughts on this anniversary. ❤
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This is a lovely piece of writing. This line got me – I pictured you wiping the edges clean as you sealed the jars shut. I guess because it is such a small detail but a specific action I picture so well. Thanks for sharing. I hope through writing, you feel some peace and healing after your loss.
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What sweet yet sad slice. As others have said, you can feel
All the emotions deeply with each line, each image. The repetition is perfect. A beautiful tribute to Grandma, your relationship, and all
She taught you.
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Oh so beautifully and poignantly penned. I can feel the emotions over all the little moments that made her special. A most loving tribute.
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Beautiful. I so connected with this. Nothing like the loss of one’s mother. The world is “different.”
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Absolutely beautifully written with such feeling behind every line. The repeated line made it more meaningful for me too.
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Your line ‘first trip around the sun without you’ is so, so beautiful. It’s repetition makes the perfect backbone for this lovely piece. I also loved the detail of the jar, and the recurring image of the canned tomatoes. This poem is a keeper.
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I knew exactly who this was about when I read a few sentences. I know the loss has been so great for you and your family. That first trip around the sun after you’ve lost someone so dear is fraught with many emotions. You captured so much in this piece of writing.
Sending you comfort as you continue many more trips around the sun without her. May the memories always bring a smile to your lips.
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