Step Back

Earlier this week a friend at work said, something like, sometimes you’re standing so close to your own kids, that you have to step back for a moment to really realize how amazing they are.

Today, as I drove two of my daughters to dance class, I had one of those stepping back moments.

Wren was sharing about her day. They had finished a test, played lacrosse during PE, and she was the only person in her class who ever brings a lunch from home. Then she started telling us about her friend Betsy. “She’s being bullied on the bus.” I asked her what that meant. Mean words. Wren gave some examples. I wondered why kids have to be so mean. “I tried to help her a little,” Wren continued. “I told her about my night terrors and how they stopped just because I started thinking about wonderful happy thoughts at bedtime. So, I asked her, what’s something good you can think of?”

I resisted the urge to speak. Instead, I listened.

She told us about Mr. H (the principal) and how he went to a Bruno Mars concert. “Betsy LOVES Bruno Mars.” She stretched out the word loves. “Mr. H. even sang for her.” We all laughed.

“I told her there are always way more happy things to think about than mean things.”

These are the things I dreamed of before I was a mom, raising kind people.

8 thoughts on “Step Back

  1. Such a sweet moment. Thanks for sharing a story that shows how kind your daughter is! Also liked how you started with a qupte, connected the story to it and ended with your own dreaming which connected back to the story. Well written! And now, thanks to your daughter, I have good advise to follow. Thnak her for me and tell her a lady in Virginia will be thinking happy thoughts today thanks to her!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is wonderful that you did take that step back to notice the kind person she is. Does she even recognize herself that she haloed her friend in such an empowering way? Raising kind kids is definitely a life goal for many of us- you can hug her a little tighter today and know you are doing a great job too. I noticed the nudge of your friend and the advice of Wren’s are connected by kindness.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What I appreciate so much in this story is that moment when you’re tempted to say something but wait and let Wren continue. It’s how you step back and make space for her experience, the fullness of it from her perspective that allows you and us to truly benefit from your cognition about how wonderful your children are, and in this moment, this child is.


  4. Oh, sweet Wren! You are raising the kind of kid we all want our children to be friends with… to have in their corner.

    LOVE how you just listened. We learn so much more about our kids when we do that.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Raising friends who take the time to take care of their friends! Sometimes we are so in the thick of it, we do really need to be reminded to step back, or for me, shut up and listen, to really appreciate who they are becoming! Love that Wren – I can hear the entire conversation-actually both of them — the one in the car and the one with Betsy!


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