I pressed play and she is alive again. Her voice flooded my senses and I was back in that moment.

“You turned the shoes again backwards,” my Grandma scolded two year old Rose as they sat side by side. My Grandma was still bundled in the hat and scarf she had crocheted herself.

It was January, 2020.

“That’s this foot. Look. Look at Grandma,” she coached as she removed one shoe and placed it on the right side. “That’s a gal,” she praised, her Italian accent thick, as Rose got her shoe on the proper foot.

Then, her gaze lifts and she’s looking at the camera, realizing she’s being recorded.

“You make a picture of Rose?” she asked. “No be funny Adi. Don’t do stupid things,” turning her scolds to our middle daughter. I laugh, grateful for “stupid Adi” and the phase she went through, stealing my phone and snapping pictures and recording videos.

I watch the video again, soaking it up and remembering at the same time. We were getting ready to go to the kids’ penny fair at their school. We had invited my Grandma to tag along. I remember being aware of the Corona Virus. I had hand sanitizer in my bag and I made the kids use it between activities…activities that included blowing balls with straws, exchanging pennies and prizes, hugging friends.

This was before…

9 thoughts on “Before.

  1. Damn – that’s one well written slice. The ending — wow and wow. Love that the video brings your right back to that moment, Hearing the voice again, I am sure, made your heart skip a beat. Then, watching the video back with all the wonderful phrases and ways she had with your girls, with you. What a gift.


  2. Thanks for sharing this lovely rememberance. It brings tears to my eyes. “It was before” made this reader think how my parents and grandparents passed before the time of iPhones which easily capture videos. Lately I’ve been looking through old family albums filled with black and white photos and imagining what these ancenstors would be saying. SO glad you and your kids can see the colors and hear the voice of Grandma. I agree – what a gift. Thanks for sharing.


  3. Beautiful. That was before. But it’s also now, in a way. You and Adi have both made it a little more permanent and present. I love that writing and pictures can capture. Even if it’s mostly in our mind or heart, it’s still there. I wrote another piece, and haven’t posted it yet, about how everyone is grieving in some way during this pandemic.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a vivid slice. Not only do you paint a picture but you infuse it with emotion. And then, the way the Coronavirus sneaks into the memory… and the last line. Just perfect. Also, sending you an extra hug. I know you miss her.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. When I was cleaning out my mom’s house, she had saved a phone message from my brother. I remember thinking at the time, she just wanted to hear his voice whenever she wanted. That little video is a pocket smile for you.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s